Jets Rumored For Hard Knocks

It’s been a minute since we talked about the most interesting team in the NFL. And who would that be? Well if you ask H-B-O, it’s the J-E-T-S. Allegedly, reportedly, according to rumors, at least.

Because according to Profootballtalk, the Jets are “bracing for an involuntary Hard Knocks assignment.” Is there any other kind anymore? 

In fairness, Hard Knocks only has so many options this year… namely the Jets, Saints, Commanders and Bears. Because only the Jets, Saints, Commanders and Bears can be forced to do it this season. Because those are the only four teams that 1) have not made the playoffs the last two years 2) do not have a new head coach, and 3) have not been featured on the show in a decade.

Too bad Hard Knocks can’t force people to actually watch too. Who is still into this show anyway? But if there was a reason to watch this year, if there was a team that COULD grab anyone’s interest, it’s a no brainer. It’s the Jets. Of course it's the Jets.

This is what happens when you actually get interesting, guys. You wanted relevance, this is what relevance looks like. This is what happens when you bring in the first ballot Hall of Famer and the dude assimilates into New York celeb life like he’s the second coming of John Lennon or something.

And here’s the other thing, I call BS on the whole "involuntary" part. You know they want this. You know Aaron and Bob Saleh and SAUCE and the Coug Hunter and Garrett Wilson don’t mind when a camera is around. Robert Receipts didn’t make himself into a Men’s Health cover model to hide that 8-pack. And Zach Wilson needs all the preseason TV facetime he can get if he wants to keep hunting coug.

I’m not saying Saleh was necessarily lying earlier this month when he claimed the Jets had no interest, I’m just saying I think he was more about nailing the punchline here than anything else. 

Listen to Receipts, just killing up there. But he's also wrong, apparently there aren’t other teams that would love for Hard Knocks to be in the building, because they keep having to force it on teams like the Jets. Teams like the Jets that supposedly allegedly don't want it. Funny thing is, I don’t think they’re really doing all that much forcing here. In fact, it’s almost like the Jets protest too much. 

Are they really “bracing for an involuntary assignment” or BEGGING FOR an involuntary assignment? Are they really put out or are they actually just signaling that they will accept? Anytime you guys want to pop the question, we'll just be over here acting all surprised...

Whether they want it or not, they’re getting it. Because of course they are. It's a no brainer. Who doesn’t want the Jets on Hard Knocks this year? It’s just about the only thing that could get anyone excited to watch the show again. Let’s face it, Hard Knocks is played out. But I’d be locked in on the JETS, you know you probably would too.

Can you imagine… live, behind-the-scenes footage of Zach Wilson making Aaron Rodgers’ life hell in practice every day? Or Bobby Saleh letting us into his office to show us where he keeps all the receipts? Or Aaron taking his Ayuasca seminar to training camp and telling the rest of the team what he just told a Denver psychedelics conference last week.

"AYAHUASCA, 48 TDS, 5 INTERCEPTIONS, MVP, WHAT ARE YOU GONNA SAY." Freaking IONIC. Yes, I want that energy on Hard Knocks. I need that energy on Hard Knocks. It could actually be fun again. It could actually be watchable.

But if we’re being honest, there's just no way it would ever top the original. Sequels rarely do and there's a very high bar here... The 2010 version with Rex Ryan. And Tim Tebow. And Antonio Cromartie. That’s the bar, and I honestly can't see this team clearing it. In fact, I don't think it's ever been cleared... That had to be the best season of Hard Knocks ever. The show has been all downhill from there.

There’s no way Robert Receipts is gonna do a slow motion recreation of Tebow jogging shirtless in the rain, as epic as that would be. I don't think he has a LET’S GO EAT A GDAMN SNACK in him, either.

"Make sure we go play like the New York Jets, and not some slap BLEEP team"… that’s pretty incredible. Bob Saleh should actually go back and watch and take notes. On how to be a clown I mean, not how to coach the team. Rex was an insufferable mess of a head football coach, but he made a damn good clown. Still does actually.

He even said some funny things that year that were actually kinda right. 

I can’t believe I’m saying this, but Rex is right. EFF UNDER THE RADAR. Y’all didn’t sign Aaron Rodgers to hide. Y’all didn’t announce Super Bowl intentions to shy away from the cameras.

But again, if you get the show, you gotta beat the original. And beating the original means doing something more incredible than Antonio Cromartie trying to remember the names of his kids.

Like I said, it's a high bar. But these Jets better start preparing because soon it's gonna be them  This is exactly what you asked for, and you're getting it. You guys wanted to be relevant, welcome to relevance.