It’s A Beautiful Morning In Cow Town

Yo Sac Town… how you livin? I bet I know. I bet it’s a beautiful morning in Cow Town. Philip’s description, not mine: but I bet if you listen really closely, you can probably hear Cow Bells ringing all over Cow Town this morning. We all certainly heard them rattling last night. And we all saw that beam get lit right in the Lakers’ faces yet again.

Yes, last night was Kings/Lakers for the final time this regular season. And Cow Towners vs Car Flaggers went down exactly the same way the other three matchups this season did. With the Cow Towners shoving a cow pie in the Car Flaggers big mouths. 

That’s right, it’s a season sweep for the Kings over the Lakers. And man have the last few weeks been confusing for Car Flag Nation. I get it, it’s gotta be frustrating, it’s like every single time Car Flag Nation gets excited and bust out the Car Flags, the Lakers immediately go and do something embarrassing. Like get their asses kicked by the Kings… again.

And it’s not just a season sweep for Sac Town over the Lake Show, it continues to be a career sweep for Domantas Sabonis over Anthony Street Clothes Davis. Who, in fairness, is still managing to spend way more time on the court this season than anyone thought possible. It’s just he also continues to eat L’s hand fed by that Sabonis dude.

Yo AD, what’s good??!! Definitely not your record against Sabonis! Because he is now 10-0 against you in his career. 10-0!! How is that even possible?

This is the dude who is allegedly supposed to be the face of the Laker franchise. The guy LeCap tried to hand the torch to earlier this season: the heir apparent; and yet he’s 0-10 in his career against the rival big man up the road in Sac Town. It’s incredible. And one of my favorite stats ever. I can’t get enough of this. 

But, here’s the thing I don’t get, I don’t get Sabonis trying to make us stop talking about it. It’s all anyone wants to talk about and for good reason, it’s amazing. So Domas with all due respect my dude, I have to reject your extremely polite request.

Again, such a classy request, but no, dude, sorry to drop a hammer on you, but it's a no from me.  Polite request denied! 

And I’m not even sorry. Of course I’m gonna talk about this, of course everyone’s gonna talk about this. And I really don’t think you need to worry about “lighting a fire under” AD big dude. Considering the first 9 wins against the dude didn’t light any fires. , if the fire was gonna be lit, it would have been lit by now. If the fire was going to be lit it probably would have been lit right around the fifth or sixth time you owned this cat:  I think you’re in the clear, my guy. 

Especially since AD himself is very open about the fact that he doesn’t care. AD doesn't give a rip about getting completely dominated every time he sees the big man up the road in Cow Town. He said as much: not that I needed him to: if he actually cared, he would have actually done something about it a long time ago. But he hasn’t. So no, he doesn’t care that.  We all know that.  But he just re-affirmed it himself:

Right, it doesn’t matter to you.  If it mattered to you, AD, you wouldn’t be 0-10 against the dude.

But here’s the thing, if you’re all about the team, wouldn’t you care that your team is 0-10 when you’re facing this guy? If you’re all about the team, wouldn’t you try to find a way to slow this dude down and stop getting owned by him? Instead of what happened last night, which was letting him post another triple double on your ass?

I’m just trying to understand how you can be “all about the team” but also say that being 0-10 against a rival big man “doesn’t matter” to you. Because to me, that doesn’t make any sense. To me, if you were all about the team, you would beat this dude. At least once. For your teammates if not for yourself.

Here’s my message to both of you, AD and Sabonis, I know both of you say it doesn’t: I know both of you don’t want talk about it anymore.  I get that.  I just don’t care.  I don’t care what you want.  I care what I want.  And I want to talk about it so more. 

When it comes to matters of the scoreboard, you get to decide what we can and can’t talk about.  Hell, when it comes to matters of the jungle, no one gets to decide what I get to talk about.  Except me. But street clothes, I’m a completely reasonable dude.  If you really want me to stop talking about this.  I will.  As soon as you stop getting your ass handed to you by this dude.  And, Domas...if you really want me to talk about this, I will.   As soon as you stop dominating this dude.  As soon as someone pulls you off this dude, I’ll stop talking about how he's 0-10 against you. Which at this rate, will be never. So I’ll probably be talking about this forever.