Chris Jones Is Hilarious

The NFL’s legal tampering window is officially open. Which means potential free agents that were totally not engaging with other teams for months can finally start to engage with other teams for the very first time today, on March 11th. We all know that’s a load of crap, the point is, the deals are about to start coming hot and heavy this week. 

But the biggest deal of all might have already happened this weekend. Because the biggest deal of this entire offseason might end being the two-time defending champs retaining their best defensive player. 

For all the build up to the Chris Jones extension negotiation, the resolution came really quickly. The big dude is staying in KC for 5 years and $95 mil guaranteed. He could ultimately make up to $158 mil on the deal. It’s a monster deal for a monster player. It’s a no-brainer for everyone involved. And it’s a massive problem for the rest of the league.

Turns out it wasn’t the 42 talking when Chris Jones said he wasn’t going anywhere at the victory parade. At the time I thought his agent would be frustrated that Chris let Don Julio take over the negotiations. But if Don Julio did negotiate this deal, then the Don did a damn good job, because this is a damn good deal.

Honestly Jones' parade performance alone might have been worth this new contract. 

Of course he was coming back after that. And why wouldn’t he? Who wouldn't want the chance to complete the first Super Bowl three peat? And it was an obvious call for the Chiefs too. Nobody generates interior pressure like Chris Jones. And nobody shows up for a big game on that defense like Chris Jones. 

Plus, the dude is just hilarious. This Chiefs team has a vibe and he absolutely fits that vibe. Just check out this X post he blasted out after his new deal was announced:

Chris Jones @stonecoldjones

Clark Hunt! A+
 

He’s referencing the fact that the team gave Clark Hunt an F- grade in the NFLPA report card. We didn’t really get to talk about that, but it was absolutely amazing. 

This team just ran off back to back Lombardi’s and celebrated by spiking the ball in the owner’s face. Yes, the Chiefs might be the class of the NFL but they want to make sure everyone knows it has nothing to do with ownership. Because ownership gets an F-. Not just an F, an F-. 

Although it looks like Chris Jones just changed his ownership grade to A+. And for good reason. I wonder if that cracks Clark Hunt up as much as it cracks me up. But you know who isn’t laughing right now? Everyone else in the NFL. Especially the Niners and the Eagles.

Because while the Chiefs were busy retaining their superstar on the defensive line both the Niners and the Eagles were losing massive pieces. Fletcher Cox just followed Jason Kelce into retirement to make Nick Sirianni’s headache in Philly more of a headache than ever. Meanwhile Arik Armstead and the Niners couldn’t agree on a contract restructuring so now he’ll hit free agency.

Basically, the rich got richer this weekend and everyone else fell further behind. Because unfortunately for those who wanted Chris Jones gone... He's not going nowhere baby... He's gonna be there this year, next year and the year after. Three peat three peat three peat!