Big Win For The Jets

The Jets managed to win the internet yesterday. And for them, that’s a big win. Because let's face it, any dub for the J-E-T-S is a big dub. Even a really DOPEY, CORNY social media win that doesn’t even make much sense.

The Jets were definitely pleased with themselves HOWEVER... And Jet fan seemed to really really enjoy it too, WHICH AGAIN, I just don’t understand. 

See if it were me, and I was a Jet fan, and I just lived through 50-plus years of A Super Bowl drought, and the longest playoff absence in North American pro sports, just to watch the team inflate a giant hype balloon last offseason and then have that hype balloon explode in everyone’s face four snaps into opening night… if I just went through all of that as an already scrred and utterly beaten down. Jets fan, the last thing that I would get hyped about is BREAKFAST SANDO content in March. But that’s just me. 

Yes, breakfast sando content. Some independent Jet podcaster sent a breakfast sando over to the Jets facility yesterday morning for Mike Williams, hoping that Mike Williams would show up, sign a contract and eat the sando. 

And would you believe it, Mike Williams really did show up and really did sign a one year, $15 mil contract. And then he took a bite of his sando. And then the Jets thought was fresh and awesome they made that sando their profile pic on X. And as of this morning, that sando with a bite out of it is still the Jets profile pic on X. 

I have to admit Jet fan, upon seeing this nonsense, the first thing that came to my mind was your arch nemesis the Schnowman. I have to admit, the first thing that came to my mind was Dion Dawkins hitting you all with y’all are just WEIRDOS BEING WEIRD. 

Did the big fella not just nail it: did the Jets not confirm his take that they’re just weirdos being weird?  They all lost their collective bleep when they saw and heard what he said about them; then they turn and doing exactly what he said about them: just weirdos being weird.  And   It’s all so Jets..., it's just the part that really surprises me is how into this Jet fan seems to be. I know you have literally nothing to look forward to, nothing to get hyped about.  But this is what it’s come to Jets fan: You’re hyped about a breakfast sando?  You’re acting like that sando is the Lombardo trophy itself. 

And Jersey Jet fan, don’t come running in here with a lecture about how it’s not just any breakfast sando, it’s a TAYLOR HAM, EGG AND CHEESE. And you can only get TAYLOR HAM in Jersey. Unless you’re in SOUTH Jersey, and then you probably call it PORK ROLL. But it’s the same product, and it’s a Jersey thing, and you wouldn’t get it ROME, CALIFORNIA BOY.

Oh I get it, we all get it, it's not that hard to get, and it’s just that we don’t really care. And what I really don’t get, besides, the whole damn thing, I really don’t get is what this has to do with signing Mike Williams or why it’s so impressive to you Jet fans. To me, it just looks very Jets. To me, it's classic WEIRDOS BEING WEIRD. To me, all its missing is a Rex Ryan follow up post screaming LET’S GO EAT A GD SNACK and slamming one of those Taylor ham sandos. 

Look I’m not trying to be the wet blanket on the Jets social media team or on Jet fan enjoying Jets social media. I'm really not. I’m just surprised the team is even allowed to mess around on social media with nonsense like this considering the dumpster fire the place is right now. It doesn’t exactly seem like the BEST time to make your social media logo a sandwich, but that’s just me. 

Or maybe it is the best time, because that’s basically how serious the entire football operation looks from the outside right now. You're WEIRDOS BEING WEIRD, I guess you gotta just lean into it. Maybe they officially change their helmet logo and just slap that sando with a bite out of it on the side of those kelly green lids. Maybe we're actually onto something here.

But, Jet fan, let me ask you this… did Saquon Barkley have a cheese steak waiting for him when he got to the Eagles facility? Did they do a photo shoot with Tiny Brains and his tiny hands wrapped around a Philly from Pat’s or Geno’s? Of course they didn't.

Were there cheese curds presented to Josh Jacobs when he showed up to sign for the Packers? Of course not. Did Derrick Henry smash some crab cakes when he got to Baltimore? Of course not.

Hey Jet fan, you think maybe the Bears will send Goodell out to the podium on draft night with a deep dish pizza and a Chicago dog to greet Caleb Williams? Because I don’t think that will happen.

I actually missed the Bills and their gift of Buffalo wings to Curtis Samuel and the part where they changed their profile pic on X to a sauced wing dipping into some blue cheese. That totally happened right?

Or there was also the Nashville hot chicken the Titans presented to Calvin Ridley, who could forget that one? If it actually happened. 

I bet Russet Potato Wilson is off somewhere FURIOUS right now that the Steelers social team didn’t think of this first. They absolutely should have brought him some Primanti (Pruh-man-tee) Brothers so he could recreate his incredibly creepy sandwich ads. See that would have actually been funny. That actually would have been better than Renegade Russ dropping a cheesetastic Renegade hype video on us. That going viral would actually make total sense to me.

You just know, by the way, that the Cowboys had a big ol bowl of Cowboy chili waiting for… for...forlllhold on never mind they didn’t sign anyone. Just messing with you Cowboy fan, relax, I’m well aware they signed ONE veteran free agent to a ONE year deal. And I’m also sure there was no Cowboy chili presented when Eric Kendricks showed up to sign on the dotted line.

You see what I’m getting at Jet fan… nobody else does this. Nobody else would do this. This is why you have division rivals going on vladtv and saying you’re all just a bunch of WEIRDOS BEING WEIRD. It’s just too accurate. It's perfect actually.

But maybe one of you can explain to me today why this fires you up so much. Maybe Eddie in NYC can call up and BABY BOY me and let me know why Jet fan was so into this. Then again, his takes about Coug Hunter Zach Wilson never made any sense either. Yo BABY BOY… how’s the trade market for your BABY BOY right? Eddie at least there’s this… we can now confirm that you truly are Coug Hunter’s biggest fan in the whole world… because clearly, you are Coug Hunter’s only fan in the whole world. 

Look, Mike Williams is a nice little signing. He could be a great compliment to Garrett Wilson in an offense led by Aaron Rodgers, I see how that could be exciting to you Jet fan. It's also easy for me to see how injuries could blow up this plan once again just like it blew up four snaps into last season. But it's a fine signing and it's only a one year commitment. Great, I just don't understand why this has anything to do with a ham sando and why you Jet fans ate this crap up. The only explanation I can come up with is this... It's all just WEIRDOS BEING WEIRD.